The Spider

First of all, let me just say that it's great that I don't have a paralyzing fear of spiders. For if I did, I would NEVER be able to live alone as I am doing now.

Ok, so - This morning, as I was leisurely getting ready for work, I noticed that my kitten was freaking out trying to get something underneath my vanity. Thinking it was a spider, I decided to help him out a little (my kitten, not the spider). I look under my vanity and there's this big black hairy thing as big as my fingernail.

That was when I freaked out.

I grabbed my kitten and tossed him out of my bedroom. Then I race to the kitchen to grab a glass and trap the horribly ugly spider. Now I don't know what to do with it so I am frantically looking for a jar to keep the spider in so that I can look at it up close. I am alternately fascinated and grossed out. I also have to contend with the kitten, who's only desire is to eat the little beast. Finally I find a jar and switch it for the cup. Then I try to flip the jar over using a piece of paper, so that I could screw the top on. Well, the spider escapes...and starts crawling up the jar.

Now this is where I really lost it. It's not that I'm afraid of spiders, but I don't like the skittering.... So I dropped the jar and take a huge step back, saying "Ohcrap ohcrap!" (Pull it together, seriously!!) Kitten jumps on spider, Lyndsie jumps on Kitten. Tosses kitten away and closes bedroom door. Luckily, this is not a fast spider. Gets the spider under control, under the jar. Finally manage to turn jar over with out spider escaping. Mission accomplished.

The spider - as big as my fingernail, black, hairy, little white dots on its abdomen, iridescent-looking mandible things and beady little spider eyes. Call me paranoid, but I don't want my kitten eating THAT!

Oh, and here's a funny random exchange between new coworker Seth and me:

Me: It's a lower case epsilon.
Seth: Epsilon is stupid
Me: Maybe epsilon thinks YOU'RE stupid!
Seth: Well epsilon can go suck it.

Rant Thingy

Here's a little blurb that could very well be the beginning of a story. Though, I would never probably write the story b/c I really don't like the person I'm ranting about. This was an indirect way to bitch at them. It's kind of clever though, I think it sounds pretty good. =)
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“Do you really think your pathetic little life matters that much?” He asked me, sneering. “Do you really think that you’re succeeding at anything by working hard to make your store number one in the district? I mean, you’re just a sales associate, not even a manager!”

He did have point there. The majority of my working life, I’d spent as a sales associate. I hadn’t grown, hadn’t learned anything but how to take orders and clean hamster cages. I had spent my non-working life, drawing pictures of girls with unrealistically big breasts. Was that a success? What was I doing with my life? Sure, I worked hard and came home from work tired, and then I would draw:

Girls with their mouths hanging open seductively in too-tight lingerie, men with that same overdone macho air, scary monsters, blood – I did it all. What was I proving with this? Did this make me an adult? Just because I could draw a cat woman with a tail that looked like it was coming out of her backdoor? While some people spend their early adult years learning, studying and continuing to get jobs with higher wages, I just stayed contently in my little hole.

My universe revolved around my job and my computer. I had quite the gathering of online friends. But how much was an online friend worth? Only a tiny fragment of a person can exist in a computer, only the briefest glimpse of their being. This life was shallower than that of the most fashion-conscious cheerleader preppie. At least they got to see real people. All I got were pictures of these people – probably all photoshopped anyway.

And when I did see these people in person at a convention or something, they were nothing like their pictures. Their cool, calm beauty was replaced by nervous, giggling, pimply faces. They were ugly, horrifying even - totally unlike their online self. These were the people that commisioned pictures from me of them as dragons, vampires or werewolves. In reality however, if these people had been actual dragons, vampires or werewolves, they would have been destroyed for sure. It is said that the older a vampire is, the more dangerous it is because it has learned how to survive. But these people, they didn’t know how to survive. The real world was just as dangerous to them as if there really were dragons and werewolves to contend with.

Then it struck me – this ugly person standing before me was the real person – not the hot, put-together lingerie model from the internet. And I wondered, is this how I came off to other people? Is this how I came off to him? Did I really devalue myself so much that I had to hide in the fake skin of a slutty vampire mistress? Now I vowed to shed that skin, to live as a real person, in the real world and actually make something of my life. I wanted to be respected and I wanted to actually help people and help the world.

Our Little Island

Our Little Island:

We sit on our little island – six feet by two – fearing to leave it. It is our haven, our sanctuary, our place of peace. Our island holds us, keeps us upright. If we leave it we may fall, anger or even die. We cannot leave our little island. The world is cold and hard around us, affording no peace, only noise and confusion. And pain. We dread the pain, more than we admit. But the island is not our world, and eventually we must go back – to our lives, anger and pain. But we must always remember our little island.

Wanton Animal Shootings

o here is my email to the U.S. District Court - Louisiana Branch about the wanton shootings of pets of Katrina evacuees. These pets were not allowed to be evacuated w/ the people and they were told to leave the pets at a school where animal rescuers would retrieve them. Instead, a couple Sheriff's Deputies were seen shooting these pets w/ non-fatal wounds and leaving them to die slowly. The court case on these guys was dropped due to "lack of evidence" and there is an online petition to reinstate the case and get a little justice for all the families who lost pets due to a few people's cruelty. Links to the full article and to the petition are at the bottom of the email. I'd highly encourage everyone to sign the petition and help out these lost pets and their families.

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To Whom It May Concern,

I am disappointed to hear of the charges being dropped for the deputies who shot, without reason, numerous pets in the aftermath of hurricane Katrina. Please reconsider the charges. There is enough eye-witness evidence (some even caught on tape) to prove that this was an atrocious act. If these deputies were just randomly shooting down people who were evacuating, they would probably already be in jail. What seems to not be understood is that a person's pets are loved just as much as the person's relatives. Animals have their own personalities and loyalties and don't deserve to be wantonly killed just as people do not deserve this. Thus it is a very cruel act to treat living things as if they were your car or your stereo. It is not easy to replace a pet, for it would be like replacing a friend. And nobody deserves to suffer from something like this, for it can be prevented by just a little compassion.

Thank you,
Lyndsie Clark
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Links:
Petition: http://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeaction/408098466
Website and story: http://www.pasadosafehaven.org/KATRINA/DOGSHOOTING/HISTORY.htm (be careful, this story WILL make you bawl! )

Everybody needs a heart

You beat me when you’re excited,

Break me when you’re sad

Tax me when you’re exhausted

And drain me when you’re mad.

You build walls around me for protection,

Though they only keep me jailed.

You fill me up when you’re in love,

And curse me when you’ve failed.

I grow strong and powerful from your sucesses,

And shrivel in your doubt,

I pain you so gravely sometimes,

That you try to rip me out.

Sometimes you throw me off my rhythm

When you are scared or joyful.

You make me try to stabilize

When my weight’s too hard for you to pull.

But here I stay, close to you,

Even with all the torture you put me through,

I continue to give you life and breath,

And will only stop upon your death.

-2005

Mini-Poem

Here's something I came up with in like 2 minutes. I think it's a good start for a romantic poem or something. Though, not very inspired...

Wind in the grasses

Sunlight on your face

Dewdrops on the mountains

A tiger’s unnerving grace.

A Literary Masterpiece

So, this is where I'm going to post random stuff about linguistics, writing and other things that come to my brain. Maybe I'll post a poem a week to keep it active. That is, if I can write a poem a week. LOL