2. IT IS COMING! (I keep wanting to say "winter is coming" but that is inappropriate here even IF it is stuck in my head. Thanks, George).There is still a little ways to go with my novel. I added all the chapters headers and have gone through 2/3 of my friends' edits. The 3rd friend had a lot of really involved comments, which is great though some of them really will involve some reworking. (If your friends can't shit on your dreams, who can?) Which means, I have to determine which items are worth investing in that change and which ones are too much of a deviation from the story.
One of his suggestions was to change the 1st chapter from one person's perspective to another's. Unfortunately, that would ruin the flow and put the reader in a precarious position. Which isn't something that I really want to do. So instead, I added a page-ish from that character's POV to get inside his head, just slightly, before you really get to know him. I think it worked well. You can see it below. It is out of context here, but just go with me, OK?
Another was to add a "Briefing" scene before the final climax. Think of the rebel briefing before the Battle of Endor in Episode VI. I think this could work...it may also be able to give you a bit more of a look into Sam's head as well as reintroducing Drake and hinting at the havoc he's going to wreak later.
3. The importance of the first page...it needs to have a hook. If I try to get published, I will need the first page, the first 20 pages or the first 3 chapters to be awesome. Eye-catching, tit-grabbing, dick-hardening awesome. Hmm..maybe I should use that?
Anyway, I have a sentence on the first page that I have gotten mixed-reviews on. I love this sentence. It flowed from my fingertips as naturally as anything, and took absolutely zero thought. Unfortunately, it may be too unreachable for most people for one reason or another. It's been a bitch finding a replacement. I worry that I'm going to go with it's mediocre, C-student cousin. Nothing to get stoked about, but safe enough to get you through. But would it be enough?
The sentence is as follows:
"She was wrapped in black leather pants the shade of an octogenarian’s favorite easy chair."
You see, I'm very much a man of my own creation. Even chose the name specially. Took me ages. See, I'm thinking Legendary British wordsmith. My enemies and crew are thinking, "Shake! Spear!"
|Of course, robot is made sexier with Vodka...|
|Who needs clothes when you have tubes and ten inch heels?|
|On the other hand...what is she trying to cover up with that barely-there bikini anyway?|
|"Oops, I totally just fell into a pool with its cover on. And sexbots can't swim. Whoever will help me?"|