Wednesday, July 2, 2008


"And just as one thing in your life starts to go well, something else falls spectacularly to pieces." -Bridget Jones in Bridget Jones's Diary.

So, we all know the spectacular fail in my life. Though, I don't know if I would call it exactly spectacular as it was more of a winding down of an era. A slow painful death of a relationship where I realize now that it's better this way....

However, onto the things going well in my life. June has been a month of extreme changes for me. I got a real full-time job with good pay and benefits and retirement. I got a new apartment that is beautiful and has just enough room for me and my two cats. I'm starting to make new acquaintances and turning some of my acquaintances into friends. And I started getting back into salsa dancing. I wanted to just say how grateful I am for all these changes, even though they are stressful and sometimes overwhelming.

It is good to connect with old friends and to get to know other friends better. IT'S GREAT to have freedom again - to be who I want, when I want and to whomever I want. I'm not looking over my shoulder every second or catching my words wondering if they will be right. I'm not denying a part of myself that I think is not acceptable.

Fuck, acceptable. I'm who I am. While I try to be a good person, and to treat all others kindly I can't deny that sometimes I will make mistakes. And, as with all people, there are some parts of my personality that not everyone agrees with. But that does not make them wrong, that makes them me. So what if I'm loud, gregarious and flirty? I have a lot of personality squeezed into a 5'7'', 120lbs body so it's going to need some kind of outlet. And if someone can't handle my personality, then they can't handle me which means that I shouldn't try to conform to an unrealistic ideal, thus giving up me. (It's funny, Google thinks "shouldn't" is a wrong spelling!)

So what if I'm anal when it comes to personal space, possessions, cleanliness, my cats or language? It's not like I'm hurting anyone by being like that. And besides, some of you might be able to learn a thing or two from me. Yes, I may like things my way but when it all boils down - doesn't everybody?

And that's all I have to say about that! Pbbbttthhhhh!

p.s. Another funny quote from work:
Seth: So my microwave meal didn't tell me to poke a hole in the plastic cover.
Me: And that's bad how...?
Seth: What if it explodes?
Me: Why didn't you just poke a hole in it then?
Seth: Cuz it told me not to.
Me: Well, do you always do what the microwave dinner tells you too?

(Actually Google seems to think all contractions are wrong. Then it decides that they aren't wrong LOL).

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